wednesday's child...

wishing and planning from afar are a little daunting today as i ponder my life choices so wrapped up in a just and equitable life on this planet. spreading possibility and illumination through action is always better than through the mere word... although, if that were totally true academia sure would look a lot different, i suppose. i have too many options and kind of liked the feeling of desperation brought on by being 'down and out' in our society, fired from a job, applying for government benefits like food stamps, wondering if unemployment will ever call for an adjudication, and then mocking those same services in each breath that forms the spaces where i dream of living a self-sufficient livelihood capturing the earth's gifts for use in taking a personal stand for voluntary simplicity when so many rely on the tired and broken fundamentalist illusion that this place was miraculously placed here to use. and to use up. i am not jaded and mislead by some liberal environmentalist framework, more i am struggling with whether to stay societally legitimate or get off the grid. tough choice. all wrapped up in other people's politics. this farm represents freedom and autonomy for me, it represents a self-determination that might bastardize its popular meaning to mean simply what it means. as i work on the declaration of independence from the corporate, global economy i think of all of the reasons that i need society vs. community. or that i live in this one, anyway, and can do my part to make change, but at what level? still this question removes me from the present.